26 Jokes Better Than JPII’s ‘Joke of the Day’

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26 Jokes Better Than JPII’s ‘Joke of the Day’

Paul Buckett, Writer

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One of the many great things about JPII is the morning joke. Just in case you came to school dreading another day, it is almost impossible to not be positively affected by the joke of the day. However, like all things in life, they sometimes fall short of our expectations. Before they start recycling the same jokes and hoping no one notices, here are 26 more jokes that are, in my opinion, much better than the JPII standard and can be that special little something that gets you through another day.

1. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?

     He’s all right now.

2. Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

     Great food, but no atmosphere.  

3. Have you ever tried to eat a clock?

      It’s very time consuming.

4.  How many apples grow on a tree?

      All of them.

5.  How does a penguin build its house?

      Igloos it together.

6.  Dad, can you put my shoes on?

       No, I don’t think they’ll fit me.

7.  Why did the scarecrow win an award?

      Because he was outstanding in his field.

8.  Want to hear a joke about construction?

       I’m still working on it.

9.  What did the grape do when he got stepped on?

       He let out a little wine.

10.  What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

        Roberto.

11.  What do you call a fat psychic?

       A four-chin teller.

12.  What’s brown and sticky?

        A stick.

13.  Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?

       Because they’re so good at it.

14.  What rhymes with orange?

        No, it doesn’t.

15.  Where do you find an alligator with no legs?

       Right where you left it.

16.  Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice container?

        It said concentrate.

17.  What’s ET short for?

       Because he’s got little legs.

18. Why can’t you drown in orange soda?

       It’s just a Fanta sea.

19.  What did the termite say when he walked into the bar?

        Is the bar tender here?

20.  What’s the advantage of living in Switzerland?

        Well, the flag is a big plus.

21.  What’s 50 Cent’s name in Zimbabwe?

        400 million dollars

22.  What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?

        Pull the pin and throw it back.

23.  Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the water?

        Because if they fell forward, they’d still be in the boat.

24.  What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

        A hippo is really heavy, and a zippo is a little lighter.

25.  Did you hear about the mexican train robber?

       Apparently he had locomotives.

26.  Have you heard about the corduroy pillow?

        It’s making headlines.

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