Teachers Caught Hoarding Lunch Trays

Kellen Barham, Writer

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On Friday, students discovered a stack of nearly 200 lunch trays in a closet in Room 203, after senior Kyle Anthony opened the door and the trays all fell at his feet.

“Why should I bring my trays back every day?” asked Mr. Patton, when students questioned his collection. “The cafeteria is so far away, and I’m busy editing all the articles that Ethan is supposed to be working on.”

After searching other closets on the top floor, students discovered another 43 trays in Coach Hanson’s room, 51 in Mr. Mauthe’s room, and an astounding 346 in Mr. Crowley’s room.

Despite a known shortage of trays crippling the cafeteria lately, Crowley showed no remorse for his secret.

“Mater tua caligas gerit,” Crowley stated when asked to comment.

At press time, students were planning to infiltrate the band room to find Mr. Tupper’s stash.

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