Where Are the Math Teachers Going?

Kellen Barham, Writer

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Early one recent morning, there was an accident on the stairs involving a math teacher, who was injured, while another math teacher seemed to disappear over Christmas break.

As students have begun to wonder where their instructors are going, according to rumors, Mrs. Peper found a note on her desk last week, reading: “U R NEXT!”

English teacher Mr. Mauthe said, “I would not be too concerned, since they couldn’t even spell a threat correctly.”

However, to take special precautions, Headmaster Deely has had Mr. Pappindick install security cameras throughout the math and science hallway.

Although the whole math department is on edge, with Mrs. Childress, Mrs. Gilchrist, Mr. Knight, and Mr. Clements worried about their fates, new addition to the department, Mr. Kirby, doesn’t seem bothered.

Senior Ethan Ingram has a theory. “I think Mr. Kirby is hurting the math teachers,” Ingram told the Herald. “They are dropping like equations on a midterm exam.”

Mr. Kirby was last seen in the faculty parking lot cleaning out his trunk. He has yet to comment on the disappearances of his department members.

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