School Launches Third WiFi Network, Probably Just To Confuse Students

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On Thursday, JPII students noticed a third network option, jp2fastWiFi3, was available on their various devices, and a feeling of hope quickly spread throughout the campus.

“I’ve tried JP2-wifi and JP2-ipad,” said senior Jack Julow. “Eventually one of them will work, right? And this one has the word ‘fast’ in its name. This could be the one.”

However, some students were concerned that even teachers did not know the password to the new network.

“I heard that only Coach Hanson has the password,” said junior Christopher Geist. “He told me it was ‘12345,’ but that wasn’t it. I also heard he forgot it already. So who knows?”

Students have been stressed lately, as internet connections continue to drop throughout the day. While many joked about it at first, as teachers begin to announce major assignments here in the second week of school, most students are starting to get worried.

“I had a great ‘bad’ joke for announcements this morning,” said student body president Emma Grace Baxter. “The joke asks why the computer married the wifi, and the answer is that they had a ‘good connection.’ But Chase Petty told me I couldn’t tell that joke because everyone would just get mad.”

Although the new network remains a mystery, students hope that it turns out to be something they can use soon.

“I bet it’s so fast,” Julow said. “I can picture it now. I can probably stream Netflix while I’m downloading music. Then I can finally get my homework done.”

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